Michael Welsh

Michael Welsh http://yomcat.geek.nz/lifetype/index.php?blogId=1 Michael Welsh, the runner of Michael's Blog. Michael Welsh is also known as yomcat, and has a beautiful wifey called Melissa. Michael Welsh will talk about random stuff in Michael's blog. Stuff like advanced mathematics and pretty beads. If it doesn't offend people, it's not worth saying. yomcat 2010-09-06T20:35:10Z Round of 16 http://yomcat.geek.nz/lifetype/index.php?op=ViewArticle&articleId=1319&blogId=1 So, two days without football. Then two days of football. Then I'll move back to NZ time. Something like that. Anyway, a few things: <ul> <li>Knockout matches are much better than any other matches.</li> <li>Paraguay did not deserve to win.</li> <li>Uruguay are going to have serious issues when they come up against a good team. Scoring then parking is not how you beat the top teams.</li> <li>England really, really sucked.</li> <li>USA need a striker that can actually score.</li> <li>Argentina are too classy. And Tevez is mean for stealing Messi's goal and making controversy.</li> <li>Netherlands are boring. I hope Brazil give them a hiding.</li> <li>Brazil aren't too good to watch, but they are efficient.</li> <li>Spain look like they'll have problems against organised defences. Or if Villa gets injured.</li> </ul> Now, some moments. I'm too lazy to youtube them, but all videos should be on <a href="http://fifa.com">FIFA.com</a>. <dl> <dt>Best goal:</dt> <dd>There have been a few, but Tevez's second is memorable.</dd> <dt>Worst goal:</dt> <dd>Lampard's. Which wasn't a goal. Or Villa's, it wasn't pretty.</dd> <dt>Best game:</dt> <dd>Brazil Chile. Chile can only attack, which made it very good to watch.</dd> <dt>Worst game:</dt> <dd>Paraguay Japan. 120 minutes of rubbish.</dd> <dt>Biggest surprise:</dt> <dd>FIFA coming out and saying they will talk about a possible introduction of technology.</dd> </dl> Up next, the quarterfinals. Netherlands versus Brazil. Uruguay versus Ghana. Argentina versus Germany. Paraguay versus Spain. TV 1 have picked the good games: Netherlands Brazil and Argentina Germany (they're also the 0200 games). I want Brazil and Ghana to get through, and Spain are likely to beat Paraguay, who have been rubbish this entire cup. It's a pity that Argentina and Germany play each other so early. They've looked the best teams, and would make a good final. Whoever wins will also need to get past Spain to get into the final, so they're going to earn it if they win it. My pick for the winners: Whoever wins out of Argentina and Germany. Football 2010-06-30T18:34:07Z yomcat Technology? http://yomcat.geek.nz/lifetype/index.php?op=ViewArticle&articleId=1318&blogId=1 One word: NO. Football 2010-06-28T06:00:28Z yomcat Round Three http://yomcat.geek.nz/lifetype/index.php?op=ViewArticle&articleId=1317&blogId=1 I haven't seen all the games (due to clashes) and I won't. So this is not an exhaustive summary. The five games I haven't seen are Germany v Ghana, Slovakia v Italy, Cameroon v Netherlands, Korea DPR v Côte d'Ivorie, and Switzerland v Honduras. Anyway, a few things: <ul> <li>Only 34 goals this round, putting it up to 101 altogether.</li> <li>New Zealand are toothless in attack and impenetrable in defence.</li> <li>Teams that don't need a win suck.</li> <li>There were more boring games this round than round 1.</li> <li>Portugal v Brazil did not live up to the hype.</li> <li>Australia improved muchly since that hiding Germany gave them.</li> <li>Spain don't look like champions.</li> <li>Brazil look worse.</li> <li>Argentina are looking like they're the team to beat.</li> <li>This cup is turning into World War Two. Without the holocaust - France surrender early, USA leave it late, Italy and NZ fight out a nothing result, England is left to face Germany alone...</li> <li>Late winners are the best kind. Just ask an American that knows you're talking about.</li> <li>Portugal's defence is impressive. Brazil's attack is not.</li> <li>Teams that NZ did better than: (current ranking in brackets) <ul> <li>France (9)</li> <li>Nigeria (21)</li> <li>Greece (13)</li> <li>Algeria (30)</li> <li>Serbia (15)</li> <li>Denmark (36)</li> <li>Cameroon (19)</li> <li>Italy (5)</li> <li>Korea DPR (105)</li> <li>Honduras (38)</li> </ul> </ul> Now, some moments. I'm too lazy to youtube them, but all videos should be on <a href="http://fifa.com">FIFA.com</a>. <dl> <dt>Best goal:</dt> <dd>Japan's two free kicks. Amazing goals.</dd> <dt>Worst goal:</dt> <dd>Korea's first. It's just so unco.</dd> <dt>Best keeping:</dt> <dd>From what I saw, Paston.</dd> <dt>Worst keeping:</dt> <dd>Denmark.</dd> <dt>Best game:</dt> <dd>South Africa France. Most games were pretty crappy actually.</dd> <dt>Worst game:</dt> <dd>You can take your pick from Argentina Greece, New Zealand Paraguay and Portugal Brazil. But the last 10 minutes of Spain Chile was absolutely horrid.</dd> <dt>Funniest moment:</dt> <dd>David Silva, at the end of Spain Chile, saying something like "screw this, I'm not going on".</dd> <dt>Biggest surprise:</dt> <dd>Portugal v Brazil being a crap game.</dd> </dl> Now we're into the knockout games. England v Germany (2 am, June 28) is on TV1. Brazil look like they're in the easy half of the draw (with Uruguay, Korea Republic, USA, Ghana, Holland, Slovakia, and Chile). The other half of the draw (Germany, England, Mexico, Argentina, Paraguay, Japan, Spain, and Portugal) looks much more difficult, and will hopefully have some good games. My pick for the winners: Argentina. Football 2010-06-26T21:26:33Z yomcat My World Cup Team http://yomcat.geek.nz/lifetype/index.php?op=ViewArticle&articleId=1316&blogId=1 Well, I do need something to do in these long mornings between games. Anyway, the rules are players must be a the final squads, and only one player from each country. There were some hard decisions in there. If somebody wants me to make them a pretty graphic like the one below, I'm free most mornings. <h2>Starting XI</h2> <table border="1" width="600" align="center"> <tr><th>Name</th><th>Picture</th><th>Reasoning</th></tr> <tr><td valign="center"><a href="http://www.fifa.com/worldcup/players/player=228528/index.html">Sergio Agüero</a> (Argentina)</td><td width="190" align="center"><img src="http://www.fifa.com/imgml/tournament/worldcup2010/players/m/228528.png" /></td><td>A young Argentine striker, Agüero is the son-in-law of a certain Diego Maradona. Plying his trade for Atlético Madrid in Spain, he has been one of my favourite Football Manager players for awhile, and so beats out the likes of Messi into my squad.</tr> <tr><td valign="center"><a href="http://www.fifa.com/worldcup/players/player=214771/index.html">Nadir Belhadj</a> (Algeria)</td><td align="center"><img src="http://www.fifa.com/imgml/tournament/worldcup2010/players/m/214771.png" /></td><td>An attacking left back for both Portsmouth and Algeria, I was impressed with Belhadj against Serbia, where he was the best player on the pitch. He followed this up with another impressive performance against England, so he gets the nod.</td></tr> <tr><td valign="center"><a href="http://www.fifa.com/worldcup/players/player=199701/index.html">Tim Brown</a> (New Zealand)</td><td align="center"><img src="http://www.fifa.com/imgml/tournament/worldcup2010/players/m/199701.png" /></td><td>This central midfielder has had a great season with the Phoenix, scoring some good goals from deep. It appears that FIFA <a href="http://twitpic.com/1ymel9">don't know what he looks like though</a>. Yet to play at the World Cup, he's in the team purely because I like him.</td></tr> <tr><td valign="center"><a href="http://www.fifa.com/worldcup/players/player=189300/index.html">Vincent Enyeama</a> (Nigeria)</td><td align="center"><img src="http://www.fifa.com/imgml/tournament/worldcup2010/players/m/189300.png" /></td><td>This keeper, who plays in Israel, was man of the match in both of Nigeria's games, even though they were loses. He was most impressive against Argentina, keeping a certain Leo Messi at bay the entire match.</td></tr> <tr><td valign="center"><a href="http://www.fifa.com/worldcup/players/player=229435/index.html">Matias Fernandez</a> (Chile)</td><td align="center"><img src="http://www.fifa.com/imgml/tournament/worldcup2010/players/m/229435.png" /></td><td>Another favourite player of mine from Football Manager, I haven't really seen much from him at the World Cup so far.</td></tr> <tr><td valign="center"><a href="http://www.fifa.com/worldcup/players/player=181406/index.html">Maicon</a> (Brazil)</td><td align="center"><img src="http://www.fifa.com/imgml/tournament/worldcup2010/players/m/181406.png" /></td><td>An attacking right back, Maicon gets into the team ahead of Dani Alves because he's the starting right back for Brazil, while Dani Alves is on the bench.</td></tr> <tr><td valign="center"><a href="http://www.fifa.com/worldcup/players/player=184616/index.html">Arjen Robben</a> (Holland)</td><td align="center"><img src="http://www.fifa.com/imgml/tournament/worldcup2010/players/m/184616.png" /></td><td>Even though I don't like the Dutch, Robben makes it into the team as one of my wingers, mainly because he's not Ribery. Having just come off a very good season in Germany, Robben has been injured and has not featured yet at the World Cup.</td></tr> <tr><td valign="center"><a href="http://www.fifa.com/worldcup/players/player=201200/index.html">Cristiano Ronaldo</a> (Portugal)</td><td align="center"><img src="http://www.fifa.com/imgml/tournament/worldcup2010/players/m/201200.png" /></td><td>Along with Messi, one of the best players in the world. He doesn't often show up for Portugal, but he's had some very good shots in the Cup so far, and <a href="http://www.fifa.com/worldcup/goals/video/video=1253678/index.html">his goal</a> was just showing off. Amazing to watch when he's at his best, and it looks like he might be at this World Cup.</td></tr> <tr><td valign="center"><a href="http://www.fifa.com/worldcup/players/player=214962/index.html">John Terry</a> (England)</td><td align="center"><img src="http://www.fifa.com/imgml/tournament/worldcup2010/players/m/214962.png" /></td><td>A defensive stalwart for both England and Chelsea, Terry is one of the games top centre backs. He was in great form against Slovenia, basically keeping England in the game with some great blocks and last ditch tackles. If I had to pick a captain, he would probably get the nod.</td></tr> <tr><td valign="center"><a href="http://www.fifa.com/worldcup/players/player=298699/index.html">Nemanja Vidic</a> (Serbia)</td><td align="center"><img src="http://www.fifa.com/imgml/tournament/worldcup2010/players/m/298699.png" /></td><td>Half of the best centre back pairing in the world at Manchester United, Vidic brings some mongrel to the side. Hasn't been too good at the World Cup thus far, but Serbia have been dire in general.</td></tr> <tr><td valign="center"><a href="http://www.fifa.com/worldcup/players/player=229884/index.html">David Villa</a> (Spain)</td><td align="center"><img src="http://www.fifa.com/imgml/tournament/worldcup2010/players/m/229884.png" /></td><td>Having just finalised a move to Barcelona, where he will line up alongside Messi and Ibrahimovic, Villa is Spain's top striker (Torres is poos). He's got two goals already at this World Cup, both great ones, against Honduras, and should have had a third, but missed a penalty.</td></tr> </table> <h2>Formation</h2> The team will play in my favourite Football Manager formation - the very attacking 4-1-3-2. <img src="/photos/yomcat_1.png" /> <h2>Bench</h2> Just seven subs, not the insane 12 that are allowed at the World Cup (that would be hard to pick). <img src="/photos/yomcat_bench.png" /> <table border="1" align="center" width="600"> <tr><th>Name</th><th width="190">Picture</th><th>Reasoning</th></tr> <tr><td valign="center"><a href="http://www.fifa.com/worldcup/players/player=196633/index.html">Diego Benaglio</a> (Switzerland)</td><td align="center"><img src="http://www.fifa.com/imgml/tournament/worldcup2010/players/m/196633.png" /></td><td>Another great player from Football Manager, Benaglio has kept well for Switzerland in the cup so far.</td></tr> <tr><td valign="center"><a href="http://www.fifa.com/worldcup/players/player=170667/index.html">Samuel Eto'o</a> (Cameroon)</td><td align="center"><img src="http://www.fifa.com/imgml/tournament/worldcup2010/players/m/170667.png" /></td><td>Eto'o has scored a goal, and so gets the striker sub spot before the injured Drogba.</td></tr> <tr><td valign="center"><a href="http://www.fifa.com/worldcup/players/player=178324/index.html">Vince Grella</a> (Australia)</td><td align="center"><img src="http://www.fifa.com/imgml/tournament/worldcup2010/players/m/178324.png" /></td><td>Sometimes you need a player who can come on and break legs. Judging by the friendly with New Zealand, Grella is such a player, and so get the defensive midfield spot on my bench.</td></tr> <tr><td valign="center"><a href="http://www.fifa.com/worldcup/players/player=196748/index.html">Philipp Lahm</a> (Germany)</td><td align="center"><img src="http://www.fifa.com/imgml/tournament/worldcup2010/players/m/196748.png" /></td><td>The German captain in the absence of Ballack, Lahm is able to cover both flanks defensively, and is therefore a great player to have on the bench.</td></tr> <tr><td valign="center"><a href="http://www.fifa.com/worldcup/players/player=175511/index.html">Oguchi Onyewu</a> (USA)</td><td align="center"><img src="http://www.fifa.com/imgml/tournament/worldcup2010/players/m/175511.png" /></td><td>Picked purely for his facial hair, Onyewu can cover the centre back position.</td></tr> <tr><td valign="center"><a href="http://www.fifa.com/worldcup/players/player=249477/index.html">Siphiwe Tshabalala</a> (South Africa)</td><td align="center"><img src="http://www.fifa.com/imgml/tournament/worldcup2010/players/m/249477.png" /></td><td>Scorer of the first goal in this World Cup, and a good looking winger, Tshabalala is one of my attacking midfield subs.</td></tr> <tr><td valign="center"><a href="http://www.fifa.com/worldcup/players/player=313909/index.html">Vladimir Weiss</a> (Slovakia)</td><td align="center"><img src="http://www.fifa.com/imgml/tournament/worldcup2010/players/m/313909.png" /></td><td>The son of the Slovak coach, Weiss is an exciting winger, not afraid to take the player on, and so gets the last spot on my bench, as an attacking midfielder.</td></tr> </table> Football 2010-06-24T04:09:39Z yomcat Round Two http://yomcat.geek.nz/lifetype/index.php?op=ViewArticle&articleId=1315&blogId=1 And now (well, just after 8 this "morning") round 2 has been completed as well. North Korea and Cameroon are going home, while Brazil and Holland are through to the Round of 16. Anyway, a few things: <ul> <li>More goals this time round: 42, meaning 67 so far in the tournament.</li> <li>Yes, it was a penalty.</li> <li>Kaka was a twat and deserved his card.</li> <li>Portugal play like the Phoenix.</li> <li>Kewell shouldn't use his arm.</li> <li>France are self-destructing.</li> <li>England are almost self-destructing.</li> <li>How did USA not win? The ref needs to explain himself.</li> <li>Argentina and Portugal are playing well.</li> <li>The games this time were much better to watch. Much better.</li> <li>Nothing more has been heard about the ball. Now that the tournament has started, the players have stopped bitching and got on with playing.</li> <li>A few surprises: Serbia and New Zealand immediately spring to mind.</li> <li>England are as dire as ever.</li> <li>Australia redeemed themselves, but we're still outshining them (and basically every other team).</li> <li>Spain couldn't score in a brothel.</li> <li>Teams that NZ is doing better than: (current ranking in brackets) <ul> <li>South Africa (83)</li> <li>France (9)</li> <li>Nigeria (21)</li> <li>England (8)</li> <li>Algeria (30)</li> <li>Australia (20)</li> <li>Cameroon (19)</li> <li>Slovakia (34)</li> <li>Ivory Coast (27)</li> <li>North Korea (105)</li> <li>Honduras (38)</li> </ul> </ul> Now, some moments. I'm too lazy to youtube them, but all videos should be on <a href="http://fifa.com">FIFA.com</a>. <dl> <dt>Best goal:</dt> <dd>Villa's first, Ronaldo's one, Forlan's ranged effort. There are so many to pick from.</dd> <dt>Worst goal:</dt> <dd>I don't remember any goals (excluding penalties) being overly bad. This is a good thing.</dd> <dt>Best keeping:</dt> <dd>Enyeama again. With an honourable mention to a certain Paston.</dd> <dt>Worst keeping:</dt> <dd>Iker isn't looking too good, South Africa had their keeper sent off and North Korea's let 7 in.</dd> <dt>Best game:</dt> <dd>Portugal 7 - North Korea 0.</dd> <dt>Worst game:</dt> <dd>England.</dd> <dt>Funniest moment:</dt> <dd>Kewell getting sent off. Though Villa missing was quite amusing as well.</dd> <dt>Biggest surprise:</dt> <dd>New Zealand 1 - Italy 1 (and it was a penalty - De Rossi was fouled, he just went down very, very easily).</dd> </dl> The third round has some huge match-ups. A quick preview of some:<ol> <li>Will France self-destruct and let South Africa through, or will Uruguay and Mexico play out another <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/West_Germany_v_Austria_(1982)">Schande von Gijón</a>?</li> <li>Will England be able to overcome Slovenia? Or will their world cup dream fall early, to the delight of the world?</li> <li>Will Germany rebound from their upset by Serbia? Will Podolski bring his international form instead of his club form?</li> <li>Can Australia continue their resurgence? Or will they turn to poos again?</li> <li>Will New Zealand qualify for the round of 16? (TV 1, 2am, Friday)</li> <li>Portugal v. Brazil's reserves. This game speaks for itself.</li> <li>Will Group H be decided on goal difference?</li> </ol> Football 2010-06-22T21:31:10Z yomcat World Champions my arse. http://yomcat.geek.nz/lifetype/index.php?op=ViewArticle&articleId=1314&blogId=1 So, we just drew with Italy. The reigning world champions. FIFA call it the <a href="http://www.fifa.com/worldcup/matches/round=249722/match=300061482/summary.html">biggest upset so far</a>. BBC call it one of the <a href="http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport2/hi/football/world_cup_2010/matches/match_28/default.stm">biggest shocks in recent World Cup memory</a>. Video highlights (basically lots of Italian shots) will be up on the <a href="http://www.fifa.com/worldcup/matches/round=249722/match=300061482/index.html">FIFA</a> website in due course. Football 2010-06-21T04:07:59Z yomcat Round One http://yomcat.geek.nz/lifetype/index.php?op=ViewArticle&articleId=1313&blogId=1 The first round of 16 matches has just been completed. And what a way to end it. Messiest goal so far, but Switzerland are going to party long and hard... Anyway, a few things: <ul> <li>25 goals is bugger all.</li> <li>South Africa and Mexico made a good start to the round. However, most of the rest of the round sucked. I think it's because of far too much nerves and not wanting to lose.</li> <li>France are still poos.</li> <li>Messi can shoot a lot, but Enyeama outshone him.</li> <li>Robert Green - lolz.</li> <li>Australia - even more lolz.</li> <li>The young Germans, Ozil and Muller, look very good. As do some of the young Chileans: Fernandez and Sanchez.</li> <li>Algeria Slovenia followed by Serbia Ghana were the hardest games to watch.</li> <li>Holland were lucky. They have a good young winger who came on as a sub, but I still don't like them. Van Persie couldn't score in a brothel, and Kuyt could only score if she's very ugly.</li> <li>Any team with a little bit of pace will rip us to shreds. But <3 Winston Reid.</li> <li>Any player moaning about the ball just isn't good enough. Germany aren't.</li> <li>North Korea were surprisingly good. And Switzerland :)</li> <li>Tim Cahill: Karma's a bitch.</li> <li>Teams that NZ is doing better than: (current ranking in brackets) <ul> <li>Uruguay (16)</li> <li>France (9)</li> <li>Greece (13)</li> <li>Nigeria (21)</li> <li>Algeria (30)</li> <li>Serbia (15)</li> <li>Australia (20)</li> <li>Denmark (36)</li> <li>Cameroon (19)</li> <li>Ivory Coast (27)</li> <li>Portugal (3)</li> <li>North Korea (105)</li> <li>Honduras (38)</li> <li>Spain (2)</li> </ul> </ul> Now, some moments. I'm too lazy to youtube them, but all videos should be on <a href="http://fifa.com">FIFA.com</a>. <dl> <dt>Best goal:</dt> <dd>While Winston Reid's effort for us is special, it'll have to go to Tshabalala's goal that opened the cup for South Africa.</dd> <dt>Worst goal:</dt> <dd>Fernandes, for Switzerland. That was horrible.</dd> <dt>Best keeping:</dt> <dd>Enyeama against Messi. He kept the scoreline low for Nigeria.</dd> <dt>Worst keeping:</dt> <dd>Since Robert Green is getting so wasted already, I'll give it to Chaouchi for Algeria.</dd> <dt>Best game:</dt> <dd>Germany 4 - Australia 0.</dd> <dt>Worst game:</dt> <dd>Both Algeria 0 - Slovenia 1 and Serbia 0 - Ghana 1 were horrible. And they were right after each other. Not a good night, that one. The morning had Germany tearing Australia to pieces, which compensated.</dd> <dt>Funniest moment:</dt> <dd>Robert Green. With an honourable mention to Poulsen's own goal.</dd> <dt>Biggest surprise:</dt> <dd>Brazil not being unable to rip North Korea a new one. And Switzerland beating Spain.</dd> </dl> There aren't many good looking hit ups in the second round. I think it's going to be more interesting to see how teams pick themselves up. Can New Zealand pull of a shocker against an Italian team reeling? Will Spain give Honduras a hiding? Can North Korea go one better and get a point against Portugal? Football 2010-06-17T04:03:00Z yomcat A point! http://yomcat.geek.nz/lifetype/index.php?op=ViewArticle&articleId=1312&blogId=1 Winston Reid is the latest hero of NZ Football. <img src="/photos/20100615115408_102099669_10.jpg" /> Football 2010-06-16T03:58:44Z yomcat Insomnia http://yomcat.geek.nz/lifetype/index.php?op=ViewArticle&articleId=1311&blogId=1 In case you don't know yet, I am intending to watch the entire World Cup. Almost. I might miss some bits because I have to play with kiddies. And there are eight games that clash (the final group ones). But I'll watch the rest of it. If you want a little preview, check out <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CcZ03I8iNIg">this goal by David Silva</a>. So for the next month, I'm going to be living 10 hours away from most people around me. Games start at 2330, 0200, and 0630, so figure it out. If anyone wants to watch some games with me, you're welcome to. Just send me an email or a text or something. Not a pigeon, because they don't taste good. Since we don't have Sky, I'll be watching most games (except for the 11 that TVNZ are actually putting on 1) on the Internet. This could lead to interesting languages and stuff. Oh, we got a TV from the in-laws. Haven't set it up yet, but it should work. Charlie isn't fast enough to do streaming video, but I can plug Zepto into the screen and watch games in large if people do desire to watch them with me. Otherwise it will be Gordon, in my room. Oh, I'll be <a href="http://twitter.com/yomcat">tweeting</a> a lot about the games. Probably not so much on Facebook, mainly because it's stupid. If you want to keep track of scores and stuff, either get the Dompost on Friday or check out this <a href="http://www.e-link.it/southafrica2010/">great little app</a>. And now, some potential highlights: <ul> <li>0200 12 June - South Africa v. Mexico (Opening Game)</li> <li>0630 13 June - England v. USA (1950 Rematch)</li> <li>2330 15 June - NZ v. Slovakia (NZ's opening match)</li> <li>0200 21 June - NZ v. Italy (NZ's second match)</li> <li>0200 25 June - NZ v. Paraguay (NZ's third match)</li> <li>0200 26 June - Brazil v. Portugal (World #1 v. World #3)</li> <li>0630 26 June - Spain v. Chile (Lots of potential here)</li> <li>0200 03 July - Quarterfinal 1</li> <li>0630 03 July - Quarterfinal 2</li> <li>0200 04 July - Quarterfinal 3</li> <li>0630 04 July - Quarterfinal 4</li> <li>0630 07 July - Semifinal 1</li> <li>0630 08 July - Semifinal 2</li> <li>0630 11 July - 3rd Place Playoff</li> <li>0630 12 July - Final</li> </ul> Football 2010-06-09T21:05:32Z yomcat New Zealand 1 - Serbia 0 http://yomcat.geek.nz/lifetype/index.php?op=ViewArticle&articleId=1310&blogId=1 In rugby terms, this would be like Serbia (yes, really) beating the All Blacks. Yeah... <img src="/photos/3754892.jpg" /> <img src="/photos/3754881.jpg" /> Football 2010-05-30T09:07:19Z yomcat List of Rules for Women during the World Cup http://yomcat.geek.nz/lifetype/index.php?op=ViewArticle&articleId=1301&blogId=1 Here are the rules. Blatantly stolen from the Internet. <ol> <li>From 11 June to 11 July 2010, you should read the sport pages so you are aware of what's going on regarding the World Cup and will be able to join in conversations. If you fail to do this, you'll be looked at in a bad way or be totally ignored. DO NOT complain about not receiving any attention.</li> <li>During the World Cup the television is mine, mine, mine at all times without any exceptions.</li> <li>I don't mind if you have to pass by in front of the TV during a game as long as you do it crawling on the floor and without distracting me. If you decide to stand naked in front of the TV, make sure you put clothes on right after because if you catch a cold, I won't have time to take you to the doctor or look after you during the World Cup month.</li> <li>During the games I will be blind, deaf and mute - unless I require a refill of my drink or something to eat. You are out of your mind if you expect me to listen to you, open the door, answer the telephone, or pick up the baby that just fell from the second floor....it won't happen.</li> <li>It would be a good idea for you to keep at least two six packs in the fridge at all times, as well as plenty of things to nibble on. And please do not make any funny faces to my friends when they come over to watch the games. In return, you will be allowed to use the TV on occasion, unless they replay a good game that I missed during the day.</li> <li>Please, please, please if you see me upset because one of my teams is losing, DO NOT say "get over it, it's only a game" or "don't worry, they'll win next time". If you say these things, you will only make me angrier and I will love you less. Remember, you will never ever know more about football than me and your so called "words of encouragement" will only lead to a break-up or divorce.</li> <li>You are welcome to sit with me to watch one game and you can talk to me during half-time but only when the adverts are on, and only if the score is pleasing me. In addition, please note I am saying "one" game, hence do not use the World Cup as a nice cheesy excuse to "spend time together".</li> <li>Most importantly, making love is out of the question during the entire month. It has to be a 'quickie' and that has to be during half-time as well.</li> <li>The replays of the goals are very important. I don't care if I have seen them or I haven't seen them, I want to see them again. Many times.</li> <li>Tell your friends NOT to have any babies, or any other child related parties or gatherings that requires my attendance because: a) I will not go, b) I will not go, and c) I will not go.</li> <li>But, if a friend of mine invites us to his house on a Sunday to watch a game, we will be there in a flash.</li> <li>The daily World Cup highlights show on TV every night is just as important as the games themselves. Do not even think about saying "but you have already seen this...why don't you change the channel to something we can all watch?" The reply will be: "Refer to Rule #2 of this list".</li> <li>And finally, please save your expressions such as "Thank God the World Cup is only every 4 years". I am immune to these words, because after this comes the Champions League, Italian League, Spanish League, English Premier League, etc.</li> </ol> Thank you for your cooperation. Regards, Men of the World Press Releases 2010-03-17T14:02:24Z yomcat Listen. Again. http://yomcat.geek.nz/lifetype/index.php?op=ViewArticle&articleId=1298&blogId=1 <audio src="http://yomcat.geek.nz/beats/penalty.mp3" controls="controls"></audio> Football 2010-02-23T05:23:34Z yomcat